I don’t know about you but I am a true Nigerian.



I don’t know about you but I am a true Nigerian.

Some people think I am butter and all…………….hmmmnn flicks human hair and rolls blue eyes.


What I will tell you is this…… there are different levels of butter and your buttyliciousness depends on your background.


Let me speak English small and elucidate the postulated possibilities further.


There are the BUTTER BUTTER…………..the original ones raised to power two,-their forefathers were born butter.


There are the Butter by Birth…………meaning your parents are not butter but succeeded in raising you as butter. (O possible o jare)


Then there is the Butter by Association………………. Your parents are not butter, you sef no butter but you come to become butter based on your associations with friends and exposure to the outside world. You fit even get accent sef even though you never smell the air of aeroplane talk more of vacation to Ghana, Benin or Cotonou.


Then there are the Butters by force………………all my wannabe butters………can I get a witness. You don’t need categorization. You know yaselves.


For all my pako homies……………….. a mon ra wa, ta ba ri rawa (We know ourselves just by seeing ourselves)


Anyway as I was saying, I am a Yoruba chick, with a Waffarian craze, Calabar’s culinary skills, Igbo’s sense of business, Hausa’s hospitality and Lagos sixth sense from the US of N (United States of Nigeria)


I kid you not………. I have grown up all over this country and have a deep understanding and appreciation of people and culture.


From the heights of the Mambilla Plateau in Taraba (Yet you thought the coldest/highest place in the country was Jos, shioor………. What know you?) to waking up to the beauty of the River Niger every morning in Asaba.


Have you ever been to Aba/Onitsha Market where the sounds of ‘UZO’ will either leave you jumping out of your skin or receiving common sense to make way for the hefty looking man carrying humongous loads on their back?


Have you ever taken fresh Kindirmo from a neat, correct, pretty Fulani woman and asked her to mash fura into it, or is it the elegance of the horsemen in Kano and the domineering rowdy business scene of Kano Market?


Have you eaten correct Banga soup and Bonga fish with starch and palm wine before from Delta or visited the wonder of Abraka River Resort?.


Hian……… and you call yourself Nigerian………….smh. (What know you, I ask again)


You think Lagos is the only state in the country......you wey neva even reach Epe before talk more of Abeokuta.


Be feeling like a star crossing 3rd mainland bridge upandan yet you neva even see River Benue before.


Pkacharanya oooooh (forgive my spelling my Ndigbo people) ……………The Nigerian in me is vexing.


You better shine your eyes well and stop dulling yourself.


You know little or next to nothing about this magnificent, masterpiece of a nation that bad people want to scatter.


Shame to all bad people……..This land is our land ohhhhh, my Land and your Land.


But if you stay glued to your own little side of the planet, your thinking becomes limited to your location.


PLEASE EPP YOURSELF OH………is yourself you are doing not me.


This Democracy Day…..go and think deeply of your life and your future then go and jollificate celebrating this Nation.


It may not all be nice and rosy now but (In Martin Luther King’s voice)……WE HAVE A DREAM….(haaaaa, coconut drinks on Fiji Islands with Dee)……..


BIKO……no vex…..I got carried away.


WE HAVE A DREAM of a better and greater Nigeria.


I don’t know which lifetime it will happen shaaa…..but let's keep the dream alive.



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